I’m in a waiting room now because I fell. May 20th is when I fell down a rabbit hole of stress and worry, doubt, fear, and pain. My husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer and needed his right testicle removed. It was devastating and happened so quickly I still haven’t processed it all. He is doing wonderful and chose to have preventative chemotherapy to bring his chances of it recurring from 20% to 2-3%. He just had his first chemo treatment and did great. I’m so proud of him.
How am I doing? That’s a loaded question. My life has completely changed and will never be the same. Cancer has invaded my home and will be on the back of my mind forever. It is my new normal. No more fussing about the size label inside my pants or the number on the scale. Instead it’s what’s my cholesterol, blood pressure, is that mole getting darker, is my lower back pain normal? It goes on and on.
How am I? I’m strong, emotional, sad, but I’m determined to thrive through this.
What do you do when life throws you a curveball? You adjust and meet it in the middle. You never turn away. It’s true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I like to think that all my trials are God’s way of making me a diamond, using heat to perfectly mold me until I shine in a million directions.
I ‘m still dealing with the emotional fallout of the rug being pulled out from under me. I don’t feel safe yet and I don’t know if I will regain the carefree way I was. Nor do I want to go back. I definitely appreciate my health and strength more. I’m feeding my body healthier alternatives and working out again. I want to enjoy my body right now where it is. And with time, I’ll get better. Like Oprah says, “When you know better, you do better.” I now know better.
I’m sending lots of love and support to those of you currently in the struggle of Cancer whether it’s you or a loved one. You know what to do. Don’t turn away. Ask for help, talk to someone or email me. I’ll listen.
Blessings and Love,