Coach’m Up Boni: CT Style – WTNH.com

Searching for a new job can be exciting, thrilling and frustrating all at the same time. The shift in the economy has flooded the market with new job-seekers, making the challenge of landing the right position all the more difficult. It may take several months to find the right job, so keep yourself occupied and your skills updated while you search for your new position.

Learn a new skill

When seeking your new job, it is helpful to learn new skills that will help you in the workplace. If you’re a writer, learning basic accounting can prove useful, for example. Expanding your skills in new areas shows maturity and dedication, and may even help you to land a new job.

Volunteer

Not only does volunteering help others, it also helps you. Volunteering will help to relieve the stress of the job search, while providing a valuable service to others. To further help you in your job search, consider volunteering in your career area. If you’re looking for a job as an administrative assistant, for example, consider taking a volunteer position as a receptionist at a nonprofit. Looking for a job as a firefighter? Consider volunteering at the Red Cross or as an EMT.

Network

Sometimes it’s not what you know, but who you know that counts. Attend networking events, pink slip parties and social after-work events. Networking is not only a good way to meet people in your field, but a great way to release stress. Set aside one night per week to network with peers and colleagues.

Take Classes

Maybe you have a degree that you never finished, or you’ve always dreamed of going to dental school. Or maybe you just want to expand your base of knowledge. Consider taking a course or two at the local college and earning credits. You may learn a valuable new skill to use on your resume. Colleges also have great career services centers that may be able to assist you in your search.

Freelance

Have a talent that you can use to earn money? Try freelancing. Writers, graphic designers, webmasters—there are plenty of ways you can use your talents to earn money while you search for a new job. There are tons of websites that connect freelancers with clients seeking their services. Use your free time to earn cash while job seeking. Your next client may even become your next employer.

Job seeking can be tough and stressful. But you can make the most of your time between jobs. Sharpen your skills by taking a new course or two. Make a difference by volunteering. Earn a few bucks through freelance work. Your new dream job could be closer than you think.

Louise Baker blogs about getting an online degree at Zen College Life. Her most recent post looked at the best online schools.

Many of us experience a crippling fear or anxiety when venturing into the unknown.  For some of us, it’s applying for a promotion or a new job.  For others, it’s starting your own business and putting yourself out there.  What should you do when faced with this?  Get out of your head!  That’s right, stop thinking about the problem and instead listen to your body.

The moment you feel the fear, analyze where it’s sitting.  Is it an ache in your head, a rock in the pit of your stomach, or does it feel more like butterflies?  Is your heart racing? Are your shoulders tensing up, or is your stomach tightened? Do you feel faint?  Stay with the feeling even though its uncomfortable because in a few moments, you will start to calm down.  It will pass like a wave and you will realize that the fear was not as big as your mind played it up to be.

Homework: Begin to break down your fears and have a reality check. On a piece of paper, start listing your fears when it comes to your career or business.  Get them out on paper and they begin to lose strength and power over you.  Afterward, write a few action steps that you can take to alleviate some of these fears.  Don’t make them too extravagent because then you won’t implement them.  Make them simple and attainable.  If you need to ask for help on a specific problem, determine who that should be.

1.  Assess where you are.  After being laid off and not getting hired after multiple interviews you must check in with yourself about how you’re feeling emotionally

• Are you feeling like a failure? Are you feeling rejected?

• Being accepted is one of our most primal and primary desires in life

2.  Don’t take rejection personally. Many times, not getting the job is usually because someone else was a better organizational fit. Skills alone will not get you the job.

3.  Do your homework on the organization prior to an interview. You must know ahead of time that you will be a good fit for the organization and vice versa.

4.  Talk about your feelings to a close friend or partner. Don’t hold your feelings inside, many times they are irrational and built up because of imagined fears. A friend or partner can help you see them for what they are.

5.  Resiliency is the key to rebuilding your confidence. When stressed, do you stretch like a rubber band or snap like a twig?

6.  List your skills and abilities regardless of job title. Write without censorship. Many times you have skills that you have discounted or dismissed that are very important to your job search.

7.  Try something new and conquer a fear. If you have a fear of heights, climb a rock wall. If you fear water, learn how to swim. Conquering these fears will help you build your self-confidence. Take karate lessons or other lessons to empower yourself. Have your friends and family join you in a 5k run or a mile hike. You will feel accomplished and ready for that next job interview.

I have been there.  For almost two years after my daughter was born, I focused solely on her, my husband, and my job.  I threw myself into the role of working mother and began comparing and judging my success based on my mother, grandmothers, and previous generations.

My mother and mother-in-law were both working moms who came to the U.S. from Puerto Rico in the ’60s.  After they got married and had children they continued to work, many times doing multiple jobs, outside of the home to help their hardworking husbands make ends meet.  They kept many Puerto Rican traditions of food, music, dance and family — including taking on all of the responsibility of work inside the home.  They did it all. Todo. Without one complaint or day off.

I looked up to these Superwomen and used them as my standard. I compared my cooking, cleaning, and childrearing to them.  Little did I know, they secretly were overworked, depressed, ignored their health and felt pressure to be perfect because of tradition.

For too long, I did the same thing. I didn’t think twice about where my next breath was coming from because I really didn’t appreciate that each breath is a gift.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

To change things for myself, I started to think about what my family and I truly deserve.  Shifting my logic helped me kick into gear a healthier lifestyle.

I acknowledge that my body has not been pushed to its fullest potential with exercise and that I have not made sure that it rests.  Like a neglected child, I have not spent time loving my body. I never saw exercise and rest as serving my family when it actually does.

My daughter deserves an energetic and happy mother. I really notice a difference when I play with my daughter after taking some time for myself and find that I am more focused, energetic and loving towards her.  Because my needs are met, I am in a better position to meet hers.

My husband deserves a fun, happy, sexy wife. I am more loving towards him after I had been more loving towards myself.

I deserve to show myself off and be proud of who I am.

I want to project a positive self-image to other women and girls.

It’s time to come out of my shell and declare that I am a strong, energetic, beautiful and amazing woman.

I am strength

I am love

I am me

So are you.

Embracing failure means we accept that things did not turn out the way we wanted them to.  We make peace with it and realize that this is an important part of the process.  We then analyze exactly what went wrong and plan our next attempt.  Was our effort lacking or was it the timing of our attempt?  Was it our process or do we have to rethink our idea to begin with?

Don’t wallow and get upset with yourself over a failed attempt.  This is a waste of time and only drains your energy.  Many times our self-worth is tied into our accomplishments so tightly that with every failure, we lose a bit of it.  We then stop trying, because there isn’t any self-love left to support our attempts.  Your effort is only one factor into why an attempt failed and has nothing to do with you as a person.

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to avoid failure.  Too many of us live lives that are robotic and predictable in an effort to control our environments.  These strategies are doomed and continue into a downward spiral until our spirit of determination and adventure is broken.  Instead, sit down and brainstorm on what changes need to be made.  Sometimes you have to change your entire approach in order to achieve success.

Listen to your heart.  I know my heart is not really into something when I give up too easily.  So I advise you to search your heart for what you truly desire and focus on attaining it no matter what obstacles come your way.

Be bold!  Your life is to be lived, not managed.  You live by testing the limits of your imagination.  All great things were birthed from past failed attempts.  Imagine how close you are to your own amazing success.

To inspire you, below are 5 famous failures:

Abraham Lincoln, received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime.  When he grew up, he joined politics and had 12 major failures before he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

Thomas Edison developed many devices which greatly influenced life in the 20th century.  He is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S. patents to his name.  When Thomas Edison was seeking to invent the electric light bulb, he didn’t get it right the first 9,000 times.  A young reporter boldly asked him if he felt like a failure and if he thought he should just give up by now.  Perplexed, Edison replied, “Young man, why would I feel like a failure?  And why would I ever give up?  I now know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.  Success is almost in my grasp.”  And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts, Edison invented the light bulb.

Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist widely regarded as the most important scientist of the 20th century.  He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect in 1905 and “for his services to Theoretical Physics”.  However, when Einstein was young, his parents thought he was mentally retarded.  His grades in school were so poor that a teacher asked him to quit, saying, “Einstein, you will never amount to anything!”

John Grisham‘s first novel was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses.  He went on writing and writing until he became best known as a novelist and author for his works of modern legal drama.  The media has coined him as one of the best novel authors of the 21st century.

Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview to be an “engineer” after World War Two.  He continued to be jobless until his neighbors starting buying his “home-made scooters.”  Subsequently, he set out on his own to start his own company, Honda.  Today, the Company has grown to become the world’s largest motorcycle manufacturer and one of the most profitable automakers – beating giant automakers such as GM and Chrysler.

Making your mark on the world is hard.  If it were easy, everybody would do it.  But it’s not.  It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way.  The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t.  It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.

Barack Obama

The jubilation in her face and her laughter was contagious. This was the first time I witnessed her proud of herself.  It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.  I will never forget her beaming smile or her triumphant calls of joy.  She held herself for a good 2 minutes until she let go, satisfied.  In that first moment, she taught me the true meaning of success!

Now, a month shy of her first birthday, she can lift herself up, walk around the playpen and is currently planning her escape.  I expect her to walk very soon because the look in her eyes are of fixed determination.  Luna already knows her reach is limitless.  She is not a quitter and I am hoping that she continues to be true to herself when reaching for her goals.  My deepest wish is for her to never let go of her dreams until she is satisfied, and to revel in the moment when she does extend her reach a little more.

Poop comes in all shapes and sizes but just because they are small people doesn’t mean they have small movements. I once had the distinct pleasure of having her poop while her diaper was open. What emerged was not child-like at all but an anaconda–at least a 2 pounder. My nephews (10 and 7) who were there at the time watched the episode unfold and exclaimed, “Wow, that is as big as mine!”
Size is not the only variant when it comes to poop; it also comes in many colors. Yellow, green, orange (if you give them a lot of carrots or squash to eat) along with your standard, dark and light browns mixed in. There is always the occasional gray or dreary poop.

When changing your child, get in the habit of having the fresh diaper ready and placing it underneath the dirty one, so with lightening speed you can replace the dirty diaper and be prepared for any last minute attacks of poop or pee. I learned this tip way too late and have my battle scars to prove it. Kids are fast little suckers.

Never “check” your child’s diaper by sticking your finger into it! I watched other mothers do this and thought it was harmless. One time, I wasn’t sure if she was wet and I didn’t smell anything poopy-like. Sometimes diapers can be on so airtight that the smell is undetectable until you lower the drawbridge. So I shoved my nice sanitized finger into no man’s land and came back with a finger of poop. So gross! My daughter of course thought my squeal was the funniest thing ever. So when checking the diaper, lift a small opening and peer inside or do a whiff test. You don’t want to be holding a finger of poop!

Finally beware of traveling with your child to the homes of family members. Especially Grandma’s house. They are notorious of having the Hansel and Gretel complex. Stuffing your child like a thanksgiving turkey. I traveled with Luna to see her grandparents in Orlando, FL. My daughter has the habit of appearing hungry right after she has eaten. If you are enjoying food in front of her, she will mimic your mouth movements and appear hungry. She won’t cry but just this mimicking motion is enough to trick people into thinking she wants some. She will of course eat anything that is given to her. She’s a baby, and can’t stop herself. Well all of my protests and pleading to stop feeding her went on deaf ears and I was stuck with a pooping nightmare.

What goes in, must and will, come out.

I changed poop flowing diapers every 30 minutes for 8 hours. I am not exaggerating. One dirty diaper after another. I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my child. Her bottom was becoming red and sore from all of it and I showed my mother-in-law what all her feeding did to her. Thankfully, my in-laws did not feed her like that again.

I hope these anecdotes prove helpful to you. Keep in mind to listen to your instincts and take care of yourself. You don’t want to be too pooped to play!

• Be Early! Allow yourself enough travel time to make sure you arrive at least 15 minutes early. One trick is to do a drive-by prior to your interview. Choose a time and day that will mimic the road conditions you may experience. Drive to the company and calculate how much travel time it takes so you can estimate when you should leave your home. This helps to cut down on anxiety before the interview.

• Bring with you the job description, multiple copies of your resume, company research and any rehearsal notes. You will have time to review them before the interview. This is also an opportunity to look around and get a feel for the culture of the company.

• Upon arrival, be nice to your first point of contact! Whether it is the receptionist, security desk, executive assistant, or other front line person, be cordial and engaging. Unfortunately many people don’t make the effort and are in their own little world prior to the interview. Smile, and make small talk.

o   If you have time, ask them how long they have worked there and why they enjoy the company.  Be interested in their experience.  Many times a hiring manager relies on them for additional feedback and will come out after an interview and ask which candidate they feel best fits into the company culture.  Also, be aware that any signs of rudeness or lateness will be passed along by them to the Interviewer.

• When you meet the interviewer, smile and extend your hand for a firm handshake (Please don’t be Hercules.) Consider yourself a guest in their home and thank them for the opportunity to meet and discuss your skills and experience.

o   Remember you are first interviewing to be a part of the company and secondly for the position.  Hiring managers are thinking strategically and if you fit well with the company there may be multiple roles you can advance to later on.  Don’t limit yourself by focusing just on the current open position.

These tips will get your interview off to a great start and relieve anxiety so you can focus on showcasing your value.

Many thanks for reading and best wishes on your journey.