Here it is…

I have this perfectionist streak in me that won’t allow me to move forward until conditions are perfect.  Sound familiar?  I became empowered to post anyway by reading, the Blogging Therapy series by Havi Brooks.  Havi writes at www.thefluentself.com about how important it is to stop focusing on being perfect.  This is a paralyzing state to be in.  My blog theme still has some errors for me to correct but I shouldn’t let that stop me from sharing my thoughts with my readers.  Isn’t that why you came here in the first place?

I highly recommend reading Havi for shifting your “stuff” as she calls it.  I’m trying to shift through my “stuff” as well.  Turns out I have a lot of it.   but then again, so does everybody.  Here’s to uncovering your “stuff” and plowing forward anyway.

If this post speaks to you?  Please share your thoughts with me.  I’d love to hear how you feel about moving forward and abandoning the need to be perfect.

This is a leap of faith and there is definitely the chance of rejection.  However, when all you do is worry about rejection, you waste valuable time.  What if your next employment opportunity is lost because you put off applying to the position you got excited about and now the posting is filled by someone else less qualified than you?  What if you lost your next customer because you waited too long to call them, while another sales person with a similar service didn’t?  While you sit frustrated and scared to put yourself out there, you are missing out on potential fruitful opportunities.  These opportunities can get you closer to reaching your dreams.

How do you know when to act?  This part is very personal because you have to listen to your internal cues.  When you have a strong feeling, whether it’s a butterfly in your stomach, an excited feeling, or a fun daydream where you envision the positive outcome of your action– you must act on it.  Dump the fear, and take the leap.  This ship can potentially become the bridge you need to carry yourself to the next level.  I sent my ship out today, will you?

Writing when it is coming from a truly personal place is supposed to be difficult and churn up many emotions.  I’m moved to write on deeper issues of my own career transition and journey as a  working mother, using my story as a real life example of my constant struggle to pursue my passion, the trials of over-extending myself, the pressure to be a great wife and mother, and the difficulty of managing a household.

I have been struggling with these issues in private but these are the exact issues women and especially working mothers are struggling with everyday and need to hear about.  Instead of focusing on answers, which are fleeting at best, I’m going to share my journey.  Perhaps it will serve others to know they are not alone.  Most of all, this is my way of putting myself first, which you all should do.  I have been running low on gas lately and it’s time to fill my own gas tank.  Make sure to check out San Diego Momma, http://sandiegomomma.com/ to see this great writer for yourself.  She is a wealth of wisdom and is winning the battle against her fears everyday.

Coach’m Up Boni: CT Style – WTNH.com

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR YOUR BRAND: 10 THINGS TO TRY IN 2011

By Shawn Parr, CEO of Bulldog Drummond www.BulldogDrumond.com

1. BE COURAGEOUS, OFTEN

Take bold steps to stand out from the crowd. Reflect on 2010 and look at what you did well, and what could have been different. Take courageous steps to help your brand stand out in 2011.

2. REVISIT AND REFINE YOUR PURPOSE
Take the time to look back at your mission and vision and ask if you were living it in 2010. Look for places to bring it to life with your team and explore whether you need to refine it. Remember: the words aren’t set in stone. If they’re not resonating, rewrite and revise!

3. SHUT UP AND LISTEN
There’s a lot to learn if you just take the time to listen. Make sure you ask your team for feedback, ideas and suggestions. Listen to your consumers and pay attention to research. Listen to what they have to say and act on what you’ve heard. Honest, unfiltered feedback is fuel for change.

4. FIND AN ENEMY
An enemy gives you and your team something to push against–something to challenge. An enemy inspires passion!  This year, define a clear enemy and rally your team. It could be a competitor, a trend or an element of your internal culture. No matter what it is, create a plan to beat it, share the mission with your team and go forth!

5. STRETCH AND SET SOME BIG GOALS
Set at least one wild and audacious goal for 2011–something you’ve never tried before. Outline the goal, share it with your team and challenge them to play their part in achieving it. Just don’t forget to celebrate the small victories and successes on the journey.

6. BUILD A PASSIONATE AND ENGAGED TEAM
Your most valuable resource is your people. This year, weed out those who don’t contribute and aren’t engaged. Replace them with active, passionate and energized people who will make a true difference to the rest of your team and your brand.

7. INJECT FUN INTO THE EVERYDAY
One of the best motivators for your team is a great work environment. This year, start doing small things that make your employees happy. A monthly massage for those who have put in extra hours or a weekly pot-luck for the team. Small gestures or events can make a big difference. And the benefits won’t just stop with your team – they will show through everything that your brand does. Happy people equals happy brand.

8. PLAN FOR LEARNING
This year, make a commitment and ensure your company is continually learning and is inspired by the world at large. Create a program that allows your team to take classes. Host a “learning lunch” monthly with guest speakers. Injecting new thinking into your organization will energize your team and, ultimately, benefit your brand.

9. MAKE FRIENDS WITH OTHER BRANDS
Partner brands can be your best ally–whether they’re in your space or not. This year, chart a “circle of love,” identifying brands with similar values that you’d like to partner with in 2011. Set one member of your team with a potential relationship and have them explore how to collaborate. You’ll be surprised by the results, even just the initial conversations you’ll have about your own brand.

10. SAY THANK YOU AND SHOW THAT YOU REALLY MEAN IT
And, lastly, do what your mother told you! Thanking people goes a long way to creating valued and appreciated fans–internally and externally. This year, find new ways to show you appreciate your team, your customers and your partners, in ways that truly make a difference in their lives. You’ll be surprised and delighted by the results.

Shawn Parr is the CEO of Bulldog Drummond, a design and innovation consultancy headquartered in San Diego whose clients include Starbucks, Pepsi, Jack in the Box, Adidas, MTV, Nestle, Pinkberry, Virgin, Disney, Nike and American Eagle Outfitters.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

I had a wonderful time during the interview and hope you enjoy it!

Many of us experience a crippling fear or anxiety when venturing into the unknown.  For some of us, it’s applying for a promotion or a new job.  For others, it’s starting your own business and putting yourself out there.  What should you do when faced with this?  Get out of your head!  That’s right, stop thinking about the problem and instead listen to your body.

The moment you feel the fear, analyze where it’s sitting.  Is it an ache in your head, a rock in the pit of your stomach, or does it feel more like butterflies?  Is your heart racing? Are your shoulders tensing up, or is your stomach tightened? Do you feel faint?  Stay with the feeling even though its uncomfortable because in a few moments, you will start to calm down.  It will pass like a wave and you will realize that the fear was not as big as your mind played it up to be.

Homework: Begin to break down your fears and have a reality check. On a piece of paper, start listing your fears when it comes to your career or business.  Get them out on paper and they begin to lose strength and power over you.  Afterward, write a few action steps that you can take to alleviate some of these fears.  Don’t make them too extravagent because then you won’t implement them.  Make them simple and attainable.  If you need to ask for help on a specific problem, determine who that should be.

2.  Don’t just list your job description and tasks in each job. Describe the goals and reasons you were hired and how you achieved them.

3.  Liz Ryan, workplace expert and in demand speaker says to avoid, “corporate speak” such as “results oriented individual”, “excellent communication skills” and other stock phrases and replace with a human voiced summary and résumé. It should read as if you are speaking to the recruiter. This is a world of difference from what we have been taught.

4.  Don’t be afraid to use “I” in your résumé summary. When describing your abilities in a particular industry or job family. Describe why you enjoyed the work and your long term career goals.

5.  Customize your résumé to the company you are applying to. Yes, this may take extra work on your end but it pays large dividends. Do your homework on the organization and describe the exact department you would like to be a part of.

6.  Include volunteer positions in which you held a leadership role or accomplished something significant. This is especially helpful if you have large time gaps in your résumé due to childrearing, economic layoffs, or switching careers.

7.  If you are successful at social media such as LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook or others list them in their own social media section in your résumé. Highlight this area if you have found a lot of success. Feel free to include your blog if it relates to your career.

Update:  May 17, 2010 -  Here is a link to another great article by R. Slager on EHow on how to keep your résumé to 1 page. Check it out here, http://www.ehow.com/how_4481961_write-one-resume.html.

]]> http://coachmup.com/2010/05/resume-2-0-seven-ways-to-upgrade-your-resume/feed/ 9 http://coachmup.com/2009/05/create-a-want-list/ http://coachmup.com/2009/05/create-a-want-list/#comments Thu, 28 May 2009 19:37:30 +0000 Coach'm Up Boni http://coachmup.com/?p=59 Need help attracting what you want? A great visualization tool I use is to create a want list.  Simply start listing things, circumstances, or relationships that you want to materialize in your life.  Free flow your desires and don’t censor yourself.

Your mind is a safe zone. There are no obstacles, limits, or judgments.  Don’t think, plan, or focus on the HOW!  Just think, choose and define the WHAT!  Ask yourself, “What is it that I truly want?” Big or small has no significance in this exercise.  Is your can opener broken? Put it on your list.  Would you love a whirlpool hot tub to unwind at the end of the day?  Put it on your list. This list is for you and you only.  No one will judge it.

Please know, this is not a wish list.  Wishes have the perception of being distant, unrealistic, and unattainable.  Don’t play a mind trick on yourself and sabotage the exercise.  The key is to BELIEVE you can attain the items on your list.  Your choices are not fantasy; they are not out of your reach.  The more you believe you can get them and visualize that you already have them, the more you will attract them to you.  Until one day, you get what you wanted and can cross it off.  I  LOVE crossing items off my want list and I get to do it all the time.

What do you have to lose?

Let’s give it a try. Write up a list and afterward select a few items that you deeply want.  Take a few moments to visualize what it would be like to have it in your hands or in your life.  Revel in it.  Each time you do this, you are bringing it closer to you.

For inspiration and guidance, I have included my current want list.  It is in no particular order of importance and there is no time limit on attainment, unless I choose to apply a specific timeline to one.

Remember, THINK BIG and don’t limit yourself!

• Full-time, consistent, loving, educational daycare/nanny for my daughter Luna
• Large unexpected checks in the mail
• A large pool of clients who receive great results in their careers and lives
• To triple my testimonials
• Receive a high referral rate among my clients
• Expand my professional network
• Speak at national professional conferences
• Write a book on value-based coaching
• Install a new roof
• Install new windows
• Remodel my kitchen
• Remodel my bathroom
• Area rugs for dining room and living room
• A doorbell
• Beautifully landscaped front yard: Started, and in progress
• Patio in the backyard
• A new computer
• A new IPod
• Professional family portraits
• New cooking pots & pans
• Dyson vacuum
• HD Flat screen TV
• Travel to Chicago to visit family & friends
• Spend a week with my mom in PA
• In September, run a 10k in Philadelphia

Have a great time making your own list.  Let me know what you get to cross off!

Until next time,
Boni

—Melodie Beattie

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to reflect on what gratitude really means.   Everywhere I turn, the focus or media noise has been on our many floating disappointments.   From the economic failures of our markets and our bank accounts to our unfulfilling or debilitating jobs, and our lives filled with endless lists of needs.

Let’s take a moment to check in with ourselves.  Close your eyes and take a deep breath.  How deeply can you breathe?  Some people have a hard time sustaining one deep breath, so enjoy a few.   Center your mind on a person in your life whose smile you love to see the most.  You just can’t get enough of their smile.  Do you see it in your mind?  Does it make you smile too?

While in this peaceful state, take a moment to run through your loved ones’ faces.  See each person who warms your heart and keeps it beating; the people you are here to enjoy and those you would sacrifice everything for.    When each person comes into your mind, pause, and say a silent “Thank You” for them being in your life and bringing you constant joy.  Thank them for the experiences you have shared and for the future ones to come.  If you are fortunate enough to see them in your daily life, give them a deeper and longer hug than you usually do.  They will feel your love and it will warm their heart too. If you are worlds apart, send them a note and make their day.

Enjoy each day’s present as it was intended.  As if you are opening a new surprise gift each day.  Now check in with yourself again.  What economic crisis?

Many warm thanks to you for reading.

Until next time,

Boni